Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There was a young lady named Hitchin,
Who was scratching her crotch in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
It's the crabs, I suppose."
She said, "Yes, and the buggers are itchin'!!"
Said the girl who was known as TX,
"My life's gotten way too complex.
There's girls... and there's boys,
...And ALL of my toys.
It's TOUGH, this addiction to sex!"
Soft Moan likes her cyber and phone,
Though single she's never alone,
Cuz if it's for sale,
it's been up her tail,
No sex toy that she doesn't own.
On the breast of a whore named Gail,
Was tattooed the price of her tail.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
A maiden at college in Breeze,
Slept about with B.A.'s and Litt.D.'s,
But she collapsed from the strain,
Alas, it was plain,
She was killing herself by degrees.
There was a young man from Devises,
Who had balls of different sizes.
One was so small,
It was no ball at all,
Whilst the other one won several prizes.
There was a young parson named Bings,
Who talked about God and such things;
But his secret desire
Was a lad in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs.
If intercourse gives you thrombosis,
While abstinence causes neurosis,
I'd prefer to expire,
Than live on in a state of psychosis.
The president's loud protestation,
On his fall to the intern's temptation:
"This affair is still moral,
As long as it's oral.
Straight screwing I save for the nation."
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown,
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better,
Than a bomb in a letter,
Given the choice of how to be blown.