Dirty Limericks

There was once a lawyer named Rex,
who was small in the parts used in sex,
When charged with exposure,
He replied, with composure,
"De minimus non curat lex."

The sea captain's tender young bride,
Fell into the bay at low tide.
You could tell by her squeal,
That a chance passing eel,
Had discovered a warm place to hide.

A luscious psychotic named Jane,
Once sucked every man on a train.
Said she, "Please don't panic,
I'm just nymphomanic,
This wouldn't be fun were I sane."

It seems I impregnated Marge,
So I do rather feel, by and large,
That some dough should be tendered,
For services rendered,
But I can't quite decide what to charge.

There was a young lady named Hitchin,
Who was scratching her crotch in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
It's the crabs, I suppose."
She said, "Yes, and the buggers are itchin'!!"

There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!

Said the girl who was known as TX,
"My life's gotten way too complex.
There's girls... and there's boys,
...And ALL of my toys.
It's TOUGH, this addiction to sex!"

Soft Moan likes her cyber and phone,
Though single she's never alone,
Cuz if it's for sale,
it's been up her tail,
No sex toy that she doesn't own.

On the breast of a whore named Gail,
Was tattooed the price of her tail.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

A maiden at college in Breeze,
Slept about with B.A.'s and Litt.D.'s,
But she collapsed from the strain,
Alas, it was plain,
She was killing herself by degrees.