Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
A young hooker from Kalamazoo,
Filled up her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out again too!
There once was a man from Kent,
With a penis so long that it bent,
It was so much trouble,
That he folded it double,
And instead of coming, he went.
There was a young lady named Claire,
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought,
'Til I saw one get caught,
On a thorn, and begin to lose air!
It seems I impregnated Marge,
So I do rather feel, by and large,
That some dough should be tendered,
For services rendered,
But I can't quite decide what to charge.
There was a young lady named Hitchin,
Who was scratching her crotch in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
It's the crabs, I suppose."
She said, "Yes, and the buggers are itchin'!!"
A dull lad from around Istanbul,
Discovered red marks on his tool,
Said the Doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick, you fool!"
There once was a man from Bel Air,
Who was doing his girl on the stair,
But, then in mid-stroke,
The banister broke,
So he finished her off in mid-air.
On their first night of marital bliss,
The bride sought a genital kiss,
But OH her dismay,
When she heard hubby say,
"Ewww...not in the hole where you piss!"
Sweetie's a talented lass,
Her pix are just loaded with class,
She knows how to cope,
with a jerk or a dope,
She just slams a butt plug up their ass.
On the breast of a whore named Gail,
Was tattooed the price of her tail.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.