Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
A lady while dining at Crewe
Found a horse cock 'n balls in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And don't wave it about,
Or the others will all want some too."
There was a young fellow named Pfister,
Who noticed an odd sort of blister,
Where no blister should be.
What was worse - do you see? -
He had got it at home from his sister.
A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil
A myopic tree surgeon named Lee
Trapped an agile young wench in a tree
Said she "Move your whopper,
you careless limb chopper,
"That's a moss-covered knot-hole, NOT ME!"
Said the Cardinal to Mother Superior,
"Your singing is just too inferior",
She, not to be crass,
Replied with some class,
"You can bloody well kiss my posterior!"
There once was a man named McGruder,
While his girl in the nude, he wooed her,
She thought it was rude,
To be wooed in the nude,
But McGruder was ruder, he screwed 'er!
There was a young parson named Bings,
Who talked about God and such things;
But his secret desire
Was a lad in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs.
A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek,
She let out a shriek,
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"
There once was a man from O'Doole
who discovered red spots on his tool.
He went to the doc,
who looked at his cock,
and said, "wipe off the lipstick, you fool."