Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
A luscious psychotic named Jane,
Once sucked every man on a train.
Said she, "Please don't panic,
I'm just nymphomanic,
This wouldn't be fun were I sane."
A myopic tree surgeon named Lee
Trapped an agile young wench in a tree
Said she "Move your whopper,
you careless limb chopper,
"That's a moss-covered knot-hole, NOT ME!"
There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!
There was a young whore from Madrid,
Whom it was said could be bought for a quid.
But a bastard Italian,
Who was hung like a stallion,
Said he could do her for nothing...and did!
There was a lady from Australia,
who painted her ass as a dahlia.
The shape was all right,
the colors were bright,
but the smell was a terrible failure.
There once was a Minister's daughter
who hated the pony he'd bought her,
'til she found that it's dong
was as hard and as long
as the prayers that her father had taught her.
There once was a man from O'Doole
who discovered red spots on his tool.
He went to the doc,
who looked at his cock,
and said, "wipe off the lipstick, you fool."
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with
Have you heard of the unlucky abbott
with a cock that was shaped like a rabbit?
It fit in no one
'til one day a nun
with a cunt like a hutch dropped her habit.
There was once a lawyer named Rex,
who was small in the parts used in sex,
When charged with exposure,
He replied, with composure,
"De minimus non curat lex."