Dirty Limericks

An architect fellow named Yoric
can, when he's feeling euphoric,
provide for selection
three types of erection:
Corinthian, Ionic, and Doric.

There was once a lawyer named Rex,
who was small in the parts used in sex,
When charged with exposure,
He replied, with composure,
"De minimus non curat lex."

The sea captain's tender young bride,
Fell into the bay at low tide.
You could tell by her squeal,
That a chance passing eel,
Had discovered a warm place to hide.

It seems I impregnated Marge,
So I do rather feel, by and large,
That some dough should be tendered,
For services rendered,
But I can't quite decide what to charge.

There was a young lady named Hitchin,
Who was scratching her crotch in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
It's the crabs, I suppose."
She said, "Yes, and the buggers are itchin'!!"

There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!

There was a cute girl named Raspberry,
whom I met while she still had her cherry,
I haven't a clue,
why my fingers turned blue,
But damn, it was real fuckin' scary!

Said the girl who was known as TX,
"My life's gotten way too complex.
There's girls... and there's boys,
...And ALL of my toys.
It's TOUGH, this addiction to sex!"

Soft Moan likes her cyber and phone,
Though single she's never alone,
Cuz if it's for sale,
it's been up her tail,
No sex toy that she doesn't own.

There once was a man named McGruder,
While his girl in the nude, he wooed her,
She thought it was rude,
To be wooed in the nude,
But McGruder was ruder, he screwed 'er!