Dirty Limericks

There once was a Minister's daughter
who hated the pony he'd bought her,
'til she found that it's dong
was as hard and as long
as the prayers that her father had taught her.

Ashes to ashes
and dust to dust...
if it weren't for women
your peckers would rust!

There was a young fellow named Pfister,
Who noticed an odd sort of blister,
Where no blister should be.
What was worse - do you see? -
He had got it at home from his sister.

A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek,
She let out a shriek,
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"

There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!

There once was a girl named Danielle,
Who would blush when her nipples would swell,
But her biggest frustration,
(uncontrolled flatulation),
Caused her love life to go all to hell.

There once was a gal named Lewinsky,
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
'Twas "Hail to the Chief",
on this flute made of beef,
that stole the front page from Kaczynski.

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with

I once knew a man, made me frantic!
His member was super gigantic
He gave it a flip
(it was named for the ship)
"would you like to go down on Titanic?"

A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil