Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with
A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil
A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek,
She let out a shriek,
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"
From a crypt in the church of St. Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles!!
"My goodness gracious!"
Said brother Ignatius.
"I forgot that your lordship has piles."
A lady while dining at Crewe
Found a horse cock 'n balls in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And don't wave it about,
Or the others will all want some too."
There was a young fellow named Pfister,
Who noticed an odd sort of blister,
Where no blister should be.
What was worse - do you see? -
He had got it at home from his sister.
There was a young parson named Bings,
Who talked about God and such things;
But his secret desire
Was a lad in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs.
There once was a man named Eugene
who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and played with itself in between.
There once was a fellow from Stoke
Who took a girl out for a poke
Imagine his shock
When she pulled out her cock
'Cos she wasn't a bird but a bloke