Dirty Limericks

A lady while dining at Crewe
Found a horse cock 'n balls in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And don't wave it about,
Or the others will all want some too."

There was a young fellow named Pfister,
Who noticed an odd sort of blister,
Where no blister should be.
What was worse - do you see? -
He had got it at home from his sister.

There once was a Minister's daughter
who hated the pony he'd bought her,
'til she found that it's dong
was as hard and as long
as the prayers that her father had taught her.

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with

A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek,
She let out a shriek,
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"

From a crypt in the church of St. Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles!!
"My goodness gracious!"
Said brother Ignatius.
"I forgot that your lordship has piles."

A myopic tree surgeon named Lee
Trapped an agile young wench in a tree
Said she "Move your whopper,
you careless limb chopper,
"That's a moss-covered knot-hole, NOT ME!"

A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!

There once was a fellow named Rick,
Had a girlfriend who fondled his dick.
And when it got stiff,
He entered her quiff,
And blew off his load pretty quick.