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    Dirty Limericks

    Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!

    Sort by: Most Popular or Newest Limercks

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    If vodka were water and I were a duck,
    I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
    But water's not vodka and I'm not a duck,
    So pass me a bottle and shut the f**k up.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young girl from Madrass,
    That had a magnificent ass.
    You probably think,
    it was soft and pink,
    But was gray, had ears, and ate grass.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a plumber from Leigh,
    Who was plumbing his maid by the sea.
    Said she, "Please stop plumbing,
    I think someone's coming!"
    Said he, "Yes I know love, it's me."
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a priest from Morocco,
    Whose motto was really quite macho.
    He said, to be blunt,
    "God decreed we eat cunt!
    Why else would it look like a taco?
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a man from Kent,
    With a penis so long that it bent,
    It was so much trouble,
    That he folded it double,
    And instead of coming, he went.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a man from Madrass,
    Who's balls were constructed of brass,
    When jangled together,
    They played stormy weather,
    And lightening shot out of his ass!
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young girl in Reno,
    Who lost all her dough playing keno.
    But she lay on her back,
    Exposing her crack,
    And now she owns the casino.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    Lewinsky and Clinton have shown,
    What Kaczynski must surely have known:
    That an intern is better,
    Than a bomb in a letter,
    Given the choice of how to be blown.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    Said a woman with open delight,
    My pubic hair's perfectly white.
    I admit there's a glare,
    But the fellows don't care
    They locate it more quickly at night.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a barmaid named Gail,
    On whose breasts was the menu for ale.
    Since she was so kind,
    For the sake of the blind,
    On her ass it was printed in Braille.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


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