Dirty Limericks

There was a young maid from St. Jude,
Who attended a show in the nude.
A man in the front
said, "I think I smell cunt!"
Just like that...right out loud...fucking rude!!

There once was a woman from Arden
Who was seen sucking a man in the garden
Her mother said, "Flo,
Where does it all go??
And she said, "Gulp, Beg your pardon?"

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
complacently stroking his madam
and great was his mirth
for on all of the earth
there were only two balls, and he had 'em

There once was a young girl named Jeanie
Whose Dad was terrible meanie:
He fashioned a latch,
And a hatch for her snatch -
She could only be had by Houdini!

There was a young man named Crockett,
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch.
And she threw the switch,
As Crockett went off like a rocket.

As Monica held on his bum,
Bill told her to swallow his cum.
She'd later confess,
That it dripped down on her dress,
Now everyone say's he was dumb.

There once was a freshman named Lin,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin,
A virgin named Joan
From a Bible belt home,
Said "This won't be much of a sin."

There once was a lady from Greeling,
Who claimed to have no sexual feeling.
'Till a fellow named Morris,
Explored her clitoris.
..She had to be scraped off the ceiling!!

There was a young lady named Claire,
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought,
'Til I saw one get caught,
On a thorn, and begin to lose air!

There once was a fellow named Riddle,
Who's hobby was playing the fiddle.
He went into the john,
With a roaring hard-on,
And there Riddle fiddled his diddle.