Dirty Limericks

A dull lad from around Istanbul,
Discovered red marks on his tool,
Said the Doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick, you fool!"

There was an old man of Goditch,
Had the syph and the clap and the itch.
His name was McNabs,
And he also had crabs,
The dirty old son of a bitch.

There once was a fellow named Riddle,
Who's hobby was playing the fiddle.
He went into the john,
With a roaring hard-on,
And there Riddle fiddled his diddle.

There once was a woman from Arden
Who was seen sucking a man in the garden
Her mother said, "Flo,
Where does it all go??
And she said, "Gulp, Beg your pardon?"

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
complacently stroking his madam
and great was his mirth
for on all of the earth
there were only two balls, and he had 'em

There was a young man named Crockett,
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch.
And she threw the switch,
As Crockett went off like a rocket.

An architect fellow named Yoric
can, when he's feeling euphoric,
provide for selection
three types of erection:
Corinthian, Ionic, and Doric.

There once was a young girl named Jeanie
Whose Dad was terrible meanie:
He fashioned a latch,
And a hatch for her snatch -
She could only be had by Houdini!

There was a young lady named Claire,
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought,
'Til I saw one get caught,
On a thorn, and begin to lose air!

There was a young fellow in France,
With an awfully large tool in his pants.
T'was as big as a horse,
Said the ladies, of course,
"That would kill me, but, OH, for the chance!"