Dirty Limericks

There once was a freshman named Lin,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin,
A virgin named Joan
From a Bible belt home,
Said "This won't be much of a sin."

Said the Cardinal to Mother Superior,
"Your singing is just too inferior",
She, not to be crass,
Replied with some class,
"You can bloody well kiss my posterior!"

There was a young priest name of Cabot,
whose libido was that of a rabbit.
He'd kiss the young nuns,
and fondle their buns,
so well that he got in the habit.

There once was a woman named dot
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she'd eat the cream cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat

A luscious psychotic named Jane,
Once sucked every man on a train.
Said she, "Please don't panic,
I'm just nymphomanic,
This wouldn't be fun were I sane."

The limerick form's not complex.
Its contents run chiefly to sex.
It burgeons with virgins
And masculine urgeons,
And swarms with erotic f/x.

A certain young fellow from Ransome
Had a dame seven times in a hansom.
When she shouted for more,
Said he from the floor,
The name, miss, is Simpson, not Samson.

From a crypt in the church of St. Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles!!
"My goodness gracious!"
Said brother Ignatius.
"I forgot that your lordship has piles."

There was a young whore from Madrid,
Whom it was said could be bought for a quid.
But a bastard Italian,
Who was hung like a stallion,
Said he could do her for nothing...and did!

A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek,
She let out a shriek,
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"