Dirty Limericks

There was an old man of Goditch,
Had the syph and the clap and the itch.
His name was McNabs,
And he also had crabs,
The dirty old son of a bitch.

There once was a fellow named Riddle,
Who's hobby was playing the fiddle.
He went into the john,
With a roaring hard-on,
And there Riddle fiddled his diddle.

There was a young priest name of Cabot,
whose libido was that of a rabbit.
He'd kiss the young nuns,
and fondle their buns,
so well that he got in the habit.

Said the Cardinal to Mother Superior,
"Your singing is just too inferior",
She, not to be crass,
Replied with some class,
"You can bloody well kiss my posterior!"

Ashes to ashes
and dust to dust...
if it weren't for women
your peckers would rust!

There once was a gal named Lewinsky,
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
'Twas "Hail to the Chief",
on this flute made of beef,
that stole the front page from Kaczynski.

There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!

There was a young fellow in France,
With an awfully large tool in his pants.
T'was as big as a horse,
Said the ladies, of course,
"That would kill me, but, OH, for the chance!"

There once was a man named Eugene
who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and played with itself in between.

I once knew a man, made me frantic!
His member was super gigantic
He gave it a flip
(it was named for the ship)
"would you like to go down on Titanic?"