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    Dirty Limericks

    Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!

    Sort by: Most Popular or Newest Limercks

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    There was an old man of Goditch,
    Had the syph and the clap and the itch.
    His name was McNabs,
    And he also had crabs,
    The dirty old son of a bitch.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a fellow named Riddle,
    Who's hobby was playing the fiddle.
    He went into the john,
    With a roaring hard-on,
    And there Riddle fiddled his diddle.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young priest name of Cabot,
    whose libido was that of a rabbit.
    He'd kiss the young nuns,
    and fondle their buns,
    so well that he got in the habit.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    Said the Cardinal to Mother Superior,
    "Your singing is just too inferior",
    She, not to be crass,
    Replied with some class,
    "You can bloody well kiss my posterior!"
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    Ashes to ashes
    and dust to dust...
    if it weren't for women
    your peckers would rust!
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a gal named Lewinsky,
    Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
    'Twas "Hail to the Chief",
    on this flute made of beef,
    that stole the front page from Kaczynski.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young man from Bombay,
    Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
    But the heat of his prick,
    Turned the pussy to brick,
    And chafed all his foreskin away!
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young fellow in France,
    With an awfully large tool in his pants.
    T'was as big as a horse,
    Said the ladies, of course,
    "That would kill me, but, OH, for the chance!"
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a man named Eugene
    who invented a screwing machine.
    Concave and convex,
    it served either sex,
    and played with itself in between.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    I once knew a man, made me frantic!
    His member was super gigantic
    He gave it a flip
    (it was named for the ship)
    "would you like to go down on Titanic?"
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


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