Dirty Limericks

Said the Cardinal to Mother Superior,
"Your singing is just too inferior",
She, not to be crass,
Replied with some class,
"You can bloody well kiss my posterior!"

There once was a woman named dot
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she'd eat the cream cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat

There once was a freshman named Lin,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin,
A virgin named Joan
From a Bible belt home,
Said "This won't be much of a sin."

There was a young priest name of Cabot,
whose libido was that of a rabbit.
He'd kiss the young nuns,
and fondle their buns,
so well that he got in the habit.

A luscious psychotic named Jane,
Once sucked every man on a train.
Said she, "Please don't panic,
I'm just nymphomanic,
This wouldn't be fun were I sane."

The limerick form's not complex.
Its contents run chiefly to sex.
It burgeons with virgins
And masculine urgeons,
And swarms with erotic f/x.

A certain young fellow from Ransome
Had a dame seven times in a hansom.
When she shouted for more,
Said he from the floor,
The name, miss, is Simpson, not Samson.

There was a young whore from Madrid,
Whom it was said could be bought for a quid.
But a bastard Italian,
Who was hung like a stallion,
Said he could do her for nothing...and did!

From a crypt in the church of St. Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles!!
"My goodness gracious!"
Said brother Ignatius.
"I forgot that your lordship has piles."

A lady while dining at Crewe
Found a horse cock 'n balls in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And don't wave it about,
Or the others will all want some too."