Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There was a young man from Devises,
Who had balls of different sizes.
One was so small,
It was no ball at all,
Whilst the other one won several prizes.
There was a young parson named Bings,
Who talked about God and such things;
But his secret desire
Was a lad in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs.
There once was a Minister's daughter
who hated the pony he'd bought her,
'til she found that it's dong
was as hard and as long
as the prayers that her father had taught her.
There once was a fellow named Tommy,
who could deep throat a log of salami.
"It's amazing!" I spoke,
as he said with a choke,
"I first learned this trick from my mommy!"
There once was a girl from Mobile
Who was partially made out of steel.
She could only get thrills
from mechanical drills
and off-center emory wheels.
Have you heard of the unlucky abbott
with a cock that was shaped like a rabbit?
It fit in no one
'til one day a nun
with a cunt like a hutch dropped her habit.
There once was a man named Eugene
who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and played with itself in between.
A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil
There once was a farmer named Bill
Who used a milking machine for a thrill
He let out a great shout
When he couldn’t pull it out
For it was set for a 16 Quart fill
There once was a girl from Seattle,
Who's hobby was sucking off cattle.
When a bull from the South,
Shot a load in her mouth,
Her tits started to rattle.