Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There once was a fag in Nantucket
Who took a pig in the bushes to fuck it
The pig said "get off me you queer,
Get away from my rear,
Come 'round to the front and I'll suck it!"
A peeker at peckers named Jay,
Hung out at the Y.M.C.A.
But the dick that he saw,
Was Detective McGraw,
Who hauled the piqued peeker away.
There was a young fellow named Lancelot
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
Whenever he'd pass
A presentable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.
A pansy who lived in Khartoum,
Took a lesbian up to his room,
But, they argued all night,
Over who had the right,
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
On the breast of a whore named Gail,
Was tattooed the price of her tail.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
There once was a lady from Greeling,
Who claimed to have no sexual feeling.
'Till a fellow named Morris,
Explored her clitoris.
..She had to be scraped off the ceiling!!
There once was a gal named Lewinsky,
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
'Twas "Hail to the Chief",
on this flute made of beef,
that stole the front page from Kaczynski.
There once was a priest from Morocco
Who's motto was really quite macho
He said "To be blunt
God decreed we eat cunt.
Why else would it look like a taco?"
A lady with features cherubic
Was famed for her area pubic.
When they asked her its size
She replied in surprise,
"Are you speaking of square feet, or cubic?"
A filthy and foul-mouthed young man
Writes limericks like all-too-few can
Heaps of cunts, shit and cocks
For cheap, prurient shocks
But the fucking things rhyme and they scan