Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There was once a lawyer named Rex,
who was small in the parts used in sex,
When charged with exposure,
He replied, with composure,
"De minimus non curat lex."
There once was a man named Eugene
who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and played with itself in between.
There once was a girl from Seattle,
Who's hobby was sucking off cattle.
When a bull from the South,
Shot a load in her mouth,
Her tits started to rattle.
A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex ain't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
The sea captain's tender young bride,
Fell into the bay at low tide.
You could tell by her squeal,
That a chance passing eel,
Had discovered a warm place to hide.
It seems I impregnated Marge,
So I do rather feel, by and large,
That some dough should be tendered,
For services rendered,
But I can't quite decide what to charge.
There was a young fellow named Lancelot
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
Whenever he'd pass
A presentable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.
Soft Moan likes her cyber and phone,
Though single she's never alone,
Cuz if it's for sale,
it's been up her tail,
No sex toy that she doesn't own.
There was a young women of Cheadle,
Who once gave the clap to a beadle.
Said she, "Does it itch?"
"It does, you damned bitch,
And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."
There once was a fellow named Tommy,
who could deep throat a log of salami.
"It's amazing!" I spoke,
as he said with a choke,
"I first learned this trick from my mommy!"