Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There once was a woman named dot
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she'd eat the cream cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat
A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex ain't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
From a crypt in the church of St. Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles!!
"My goodness gracious!"
Said brother Ignatius.
"I forgot that your lordship has piles."
An virgin felt urged in Toulouse
Till she thought she would try self-abuse.
In search of a hard on,
She ran out to the garden,
And was had by a statue of Zeus!
A peeker at peckers named Jay,
Hung out at the Y.M.C.A.
But the dick that he saw,
Was Detective McGraw,
Who hauled the piqued peeker away.
A sweet young strip-dancer named Jane
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it,
She said, "I abhor it,
But my cunt juice would spatter like rain."
A myopic tree surgeon named Lee
Trapped an agile young wench in a tree
Said she "Move your whopper,
you careless limb chopper,
"That's a moss-covered knot-hole, NOT ME!"
A young hooker from Kalamazoo,
Filled up her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out again too!
There was a young man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pussy from clay,
But the heat of his prick,
Turned the pussy to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away!
There was a young fellow named Lancelot
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
Whenever he'd pass
A presentable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.