Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There was a young whore from Madrid,
Whom it was said could be bought for a quid.
But a bastard Italian,
Who was hung like a stallion,
Said he could do her for nothing...and did!
A maiden at college in Breeze,
Slept about with B.A.'s and Litt.D.'s,
But she collapsed from the strain,
Alas, it was plain,
She was killing herself by degrees.
There was a young women of Cheadle,
Who once gave the clap to a beadle.
Said she, "Does it itch?"
"It does, you damned bitch,
And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."
One morning a man named John
Discovered his penis was gone
He looked high & low
And wouldn't you know
It was sunning itself on the lawn.
There once was a fellow from Stoke
Who took a girl out for a poke
Imagine his shock
When she pulled out her cock
'Cos she wasn't a bird but a bloke
A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex ain't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
An virgin felt urged in Toulouse
Till she thought she would try self-abuse.
In search of a hard on,
She ran out to the garden,
And was had by a statue of Zeus!
A peeker at peckers named Jay,
Hung out at the Y.M.C.A.
But the dick that he saw,
Was Detective McGraw,
Who hauled the piqued peeker away.
There was a cute girl named Raspberry,
whom I met while she still had her cherry,
I haven't a clue,
why my fingers turned blue,
But damn, it was real fuckin' scary!
Said the girl who was known as TX,
"My life's gotten way too complex.
There's girls... and there's boys,
...And ALL of my toys.
It's TOUGH, this addiction to sex!"