Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
On their first night of marital bliss,
The bride sought a genital kiss,
But OH her dismay,
When she heard hubby say,
"Ewww...not in the hole where you piss!"
There once was a girl named Denise,
Who liked anal for sexual release,
But now her ass burns,
And we hope that she learns,
That anal works better with grease!!
Amber (who called herself Skye),
Spread her thighs, as she said with a sigh,
"I've shaved myself bare,
to get more flow of air,
else my panties just never stay dry!"
Sweetie's a talented lass,
Her pix are just loaded with class,
She knows how to cope,
with a jerk or a dope,
She just slams a butt plug up their ass.
A well-partied co-ed named Dawn,
When asked what conclusion she'd drawn,
Said, "I was having a ball...
But I just can't recall
this tattoo... or where all my pubic hair's gone!!"
There once was a fellow named Rick,
Had a girlfriend who fondled his dick.
And when it got stiff,
He entered her quiff,
And blew off his load pretty quick.
There once was a man named McGruder,
While his girl in the nude, he wooed her,
She thought it was rude,
To be wooed in the nude,
But McGruder was ruder, he screwed 'er!
There was an old lady who lay,
With her legs wide apart in the hay.
She said to the plowman,
"Come on, do it now man,
Don't wait till your hair has turned gray!"
There was young lady from Ongar,
Who made love in the sea with a conger.
They asked, "How does it feel
To make love with an eel?"
She said, "Like a man only longer!"
There was a young whore from Madrid,
Whom it was said could be bought for a quid.
But a bastard Italian,
Who was hung like a stallion,
Said he could do her for nothing...and did!