Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There once was a girl from Seattle,
Who's hobby was sucking off cattle.
When a bull from the South,
Shot a load in her mouth,
Her tits started to rattle.
There was a young fellow named Lancelot
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
Whenever he'd pass
A presentable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.
There was a young women of Cheadle,
Who once gave the clap to a beadle.
Said she, "Does it itch?"
"It does, you damned bitch,
And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."
There was a lady from Australia,
who painted her ass as a dahlia.
The shape was all right,
the colors were bright,
but the smell was a terrible failure.
There once was a priest from Morocco
Who's motto was really quite macho
He said "To be blunt
God decreed we eat cunt.
Why else would it look like a taco?"
A lady with features cherubic
Was famed for her area pubic.
When they asked her its size
She replied in surprise,
"Are you speaking of square feet, or cubic?"
A filthy and foul-mouthed young man
Writes limericks like all-too-few can
Heaps of cunts, shit and cocks
For cheap, prurient shocks
But the fucking things rhyme and they scan
There once was a fellow named Tommy,
who could deep throat a log of salami.
"It's amazing!" I spoke,
as he said with a choke,
"I first learned this trick from my mommy!"
Have you heard of the unlucky abbott
with a cock that was shaped like a rabbit?
It fit in no one
'til one day a nun
with a cunt like a hutch dropped her habit.
There once was a farmer named Bill
Who used a milking machine for a thrill
He let out a great shout
When he couldn’t pull it out
For it was set for a 16 Quart fill