Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There once was a girl from Mobile
Who was partially made out of steel.
She could only get thrills
from mechanical drills
and off-center emory wheels.
Have you heard of the unlucky abbott
with a cock that was shaped like a rabbit?
It fit in no one
'til one day a nun
with a cunt like a hutch dropped her habit.
There once was a farmer named Bill
Who used a milking machine for a thrill
He let out a great shout
When he couldn’t pull it out
For it was set for a 16 Quart fill
There once was a girl from Seattle,
Who's hobby was sucking off cattle.
When a bull from the South,
Shot a load in her mouth,
Her tits started to rattle.
There was an old lady from wheeling, she had such a wonderful feeling.
She lay on her back, spread open her crack and came all over the ceiling.
There was a young Scotsman while dossing
Met a lass on a street he was crossing
She cried "from the angle of tilt
Of your sporran and kilt"
I'd say that your caber needs tossing
There was a young lady from Lyme
who liked to have sex all the time
so she slept with a tick,
and you might say 'ick'
but she said it is divine
One morning a man named John
Discovered his penis was gone
He looked high & low
And wouldn't you know
It was sunning itself on the lawn.
There once was a woman named dot
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she'd eat the cream cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat
A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex ain't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."