Dirty Limericks

A horny soldier just returned from the front
Was known to be especially blunt
He spied a cute young thing
And said with a lascivious grin
My cock would feel so good in your cunt

A young man strong and able
fucked his wife on the diner table
Corn carrots and peas
Bounced off her tits with ease
And he shot his load in her navel.

A old man strong and able
Fucked his wife on the dinner table
The corn carrots and peas
Bounced off her tits with ease
And he shot his load in her navel

Wee little Neillie,
whilst still in her mither,
would wriggle, and riggle, and move to the middle;
she'd push her wee cunt, right up to the front,
so when daddy did mither, he did the duo tegither!

There was a young lady from Wroughton
who had one long tit and a short un
to make up for the loss
she had a cunt like an hoss
and afart like a 500 Norton

There was a lady from Kent
Who liked to get bent
She had a great bod,
But smelled like cod
When she could not pay the rent
She would give a good wank
Like any good skank.

There once was an Imam in Kabul
who had nodules and warts on his tool
one could hear joyous grunts
in his harem of cunts
but his boys suffered badly at stool