Dirty Limericks

A man in the midst of self oral
One night tasted something quite horrible
The cum in his nads
Had somehow gone bad
And his dick shot out something deplorable

When there's an onslaught of criticism
He seeks refuge in Vladimir's jism
But that's nothing compared
To the cum that he'll share
With the man with whom he's in prison

A man was giving self head
When a woman walked in and said
Why must you self suck
When you can just fuck
Like your dad and I do in your bed

A man who used to self suck
But can't now because of his gut
Now climbs the walls
To suck on his balls
And swallows what cums out of his nuts

There once was this guy who liked matches
And combined it with his like of snatches
He one day set fire
To what men desire
And all that was left were some patches

Their once was this guy named Murray
Who was in a bit of a hurry
So he asked his phone
What to do with his bone
"Just suck it yourself" said Siri

There once was a man from Dummock
that had holes down the length of his cock.
When got an erection
it played a selection
from Johann Sebastian Bach.