Dirty Limericks

There once was this guy named Herman
Who wanted a pussy to sperm in
Though he took off his pants
One evening in France
The cunt wasn't French it was German

There once was this guy whose dick
Was a little as one could get
Not to mention his balls
Were incredibly small
And no ass meant he couldn't take a shit

There once was this guy named Fred
Whose wife Wilma once gave head
Though it was euphoric
It was prehistoric
These days he'd fucked her instead

I know your wife's a ho
But she's the only one I know
who gives me head
While we're in bed
In a way defined apropos

When there's an onslaught of criticism
He seeks refuge in Vladimir's jism
But that's nothing compared
To the cum that he'll share
With the man with whom he's in prison

A man who used to self suck
But can't now because of his gut
Now climbs the walls
To suck on his balls
And swallows what cums out of his nuts

There once was this guy who liked matches
And combined it with his like of snatches
He one day set fire
To what men desire
And all that was left were some patches