Dirty Limericks

There was an old man from Bream,
Who invented a wanking machine,
On the 69th stroke,
The bloody thing broke,
And whipped his balls into cream.

There was a young lady from Wroughton
who had one long tit and a short un
to make up for the loss
she had a cunt like an hoss
and afart like a 500 Norton

There once was a whore named Jess
Who was broke and penny-less
she swallowed cum
for a stick of gum
shes sucked off dudes for less.

heres a dirty limerick
shit on my motherfucking dick
Go to hell
taco bell
Heres the ending of the limerick.

There once was a hermit named Dave.
Who had a bucket of shit in his cave.
As he said with a smile,
as he pawed through the pile.
It's really the corn that I crave

There was a lady from Kent
Who liked to get bent
She had a great bod,
But smelled like cod
When she could not pay the rent
She would give a good wank
Like any good skank.

There once was an Imam in Kabul
who had nodules and warts on his tool
one could hear joyous grunts
in his harem of cunts
but his boys suffered badly at stool

A filthy whore known to my son
Loved to be fucked in her bum
She squealed in delight
As he thrust forthright
And emptied a shitload of cum

When a brutal thrust to her clit
Brought a fart that should have been lit.
"oh, Pardon she sighed."
"That's noting!" he cried,
"Most other girls usually shit."

Joan Rivers conquered her fears
Believing surgery extended careers
“Going under the knife
May not prolong life
But my tits will last 10,000 years.”