Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. But that is why we like um! Remember you can submit your own dirty limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!
There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who remarked to his girl, You've a tight one,
She replied, "Oh my soul,
You're in the wrong hole,
There's plenty of room in the right one!"
There once was a woman named Jill,
Tried a dynamite stick for the thrill,
They found her vagina,
In South Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil!
The lass I brought home was a prize,
With an alluring set of bright blue eyes,
Her breasts, so well kept,
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise.
There once was a man named Sweeney,
who somehow spilled gin on his weenie.
Just to be couth,
he added vermouth,
and then slipped his date a martini.
The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.
There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew,
Oh, the Vicar is quicker,
And thicker and slicker,
And four inches longer than you.
There once was a man called Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave,
He said "I admit,
I'm a bit of a shit,
But think of the money I save".
A lady once triplets begat,
Named Nat and Pat and Tat,
Though it was fun breeding,
The trouble was feeding,
Cause there just was no tit for Tat.
The president's loud protestation,
On his fall to the intern's temptation:
"This affair is still moral,
As long as it's oral.
Straight screwing I save for the nation."
There once was a plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing his maid by the sea.
Said she, "Please stop plumbing,
I think someone's coming!"
Said he, "Yes I know love, it's me."