Dirty Limericks

As a girl young Carole Platt
Loved the boys to sniff her twat,
And grope her tits and sexy bum,
As she rubbed their dicks
And made them cum.

There once was a gal from Nantucket
Who's cunt was as big as a bucket
Her boyfriend Slim
Damn nearly fell in
He then strapped on a board
So he could fuck it

There once was a preacher named Bings
who spoke about Heaven and things.
But his secret desire was boy in the choir
With buttocks like jello on springs.

Wee little Neillie,
whilst still in her mither,
would wriggle, and riggle, and move to the middle;
she'd push her wee cunt, right up to the front,
so when daddy did mither, he did the duo tegither!

There once was a man from Rangoon,
Who was born nine months too soon.
He hadn't the luck
to be born by a fuck.
He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

Went out for dinner at B-dubs
To get my drink on and some grub
Had to go use the can
The line was to long man
Went outside and shat on a shrub

There was an old man from Bream,
Who invented a wanking machine,
On the 69th stroke,
The bloody thing broke,
And whipped his balls into cream.

There was a young lady from Wroughton
who had one long tit and a short un
to make up for the loss
she had a cunt like an hoss
and afart like a 500 Norton

A conflicted young priest from Southampton,
while believing all sin should be stamped on,
had been loving the strength
and the girth and the length
of the cock that his mouth had been clamped on.

There once was a man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
A great tuft of grass
grew out his ass
and his cock was covered with weeds.