Dirty Limericks

A horny soldier just returned from the front
Was known to be especially blunt
He spied a cute young thing
And said with a lascivious grin
My cock would feel so good in your cunt

A young man strong and able
fucked his wife on the diner table
Corn carrots and peas
Bounced off her tits with ease
And he shot his load in her navel.

A old man strong and able
Fucked his wife on the dinner table
The corn carrots and peas
Bounced off her tits with ease
And he shot his load in her navel

"Twas Eve in the crypt of Saint Giles,
When a shrill voice was heard down the aisles:
"O goodness, o gracious!"
Cried Father Ignatius'
"I forgot the Lord Bishop had piles!"

Here's to Puss, not the fictional cat that wears boots on its feet, but to the wet & shaved shit, that rides up and down on your meat!

As a girl young Carole Platt
Loved the boys to sniff her twat,
And grope her tits and sexy bum,
As she rubbed their dicks
And made them cum.

There once was a gal from Nantucket
Who's cunt was as big as a bucket
Her boyfriend Slim
Damn nearly fell in
He then strapped on a board
So he could fuck it

There once was a preacher named Bings
who spoke about Heaven and things.
But his secret desire was boy in the choir
With buttocks like jello on springs.

Wee little Neillie,
whilst still in her mither,
would wriggle, and riggle, and move to the middle;
she'd push her wee cunt, right up to the front,
so when daddy did mither, he did the duo tegither!

Went out for dinner at B-dubs
To get my drink on and some grub
Had to go use the can
The line was to long man
Went outside and shat on a shrub