Dirty Limericks

There once was a girl named Hortense.
The size of her breasts was immense.
One day playing soccer,
Out popped her left knocker,
And she kicked it right over the fence.

There once was a queen of Bulgaria,
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier.
Till a prince from Peru,
Who came up for a screw,
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

There was a young lady of Natchez
Who chanced to be born with two snatches,
And she often said, "Shit!
Why, I'd give either tit,
For a man with equipment that matches."

There once was a pirate from Yates,
Who could dance the Fandango on Skates.
He fell on his cutlass,
Which rendered him nut-less,
And perfectly useless on dates.

There was a young girl from Hoboken,
Who claimed that her hymen was broken
From riding her bike
On a cobblestone pike.
But it really was broken from pokin'!!!

Two lesbians north of the town,
Made sixty-nine love on the ground.
Their unbridled lust
Leaked out in the dust
And made so much mud that they drowned!!

A fair-skinned young maiden named Sharkey,
Once had an affair with a darky.
The result of their sins,
Were quadruplets, not twins,
One black, one white and two khaki.

An architect fellow named Yoric
can, when he's feeling euphoric,
provide for selection
three types of erection:
Corinthian, Ionic, and Doric.

A dull lad from around Istanbul,
Discovered red marks on his tool,
Said the Doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick, you fool!"

There was a young dentist Malone,
who had a charming girl patient alone.
But in his depravity,
he filled the wrong cavity,
God, how his practice has grown!