General Limericks

There is a young poet named Herman.
He's not very good, but he's learnin',
Though he often offends
Because he so often ends
Alle sein Limericks auf Deutsch.

The bustard's an exquisite fowl,
Without any reason to growl.
It escapes what would be,
Illegitimacy,
By the grace of a fortunate vowel.

Once lived a drunken man with a wooden leg
Who’s his misfortune forced him to dance and beg
The problem he had
Was tragic and sad
Since his leg, the remains of a Keg

Though he didn't like men per se
He did something that most would think gay
He sucked on his bone
When he was alone
As much as he could every day

The limerick packs laughs astronomical
in a space that is most economical.
But of the ones that I've seen,
so few have been clean,
and the clean ones are seldom so comical.

There was a young lady named Perkins,
Who had a great fondness for gherkins ;
She went to a tea
And ate twenty-three,
Which pickled her internal workings.

There once was a man from Kentucky
Who fancied himself so unlucky
For despite the time
He spent finding rhymes
He ran out of ones for Kentucky :(

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and meowed

There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,"
"'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"