General Limericks

Seven ages: first puking and mewling,
Then very pissed off with one's schooling,
Then fucks, and then fights,
Then judging chaps' rights,
Then sitting in slippers, then drooling.

There once was a man from Kentucky
Who fancied himself so unlucky
For despite the time
He spent finding rhymes
He ran out of ones for Kentucky :(

The bustard's an exquisite fowl,
Without any reason to growl.
It escapes what would be,
Illegitimacy,
By the grace of a fortunate vowel.

There once was a man named Gene.
I can't believe what I have seen.
From ear to ear,
the path is clear.
There is nothing in between.

The limerick packs laughs astronomical
in a space that is most economical.
But of the ones that I've seen,
so few have been clean,
and the clean ones are seldom so comical.

Two former good friends, Fife and Cline,
Met by accidental design,
Inquired Mister Fife,
"Hello, how's the wife?",
Responded Cline, "Fine, and how's mine?"

There was a young lady named Perkins,
Who had a great fondness for gherkins ;
She went to a tea
And ate twenty-three,
Which pickled her internal workings.

There is a young poet named Herman.
He's not very good, but he's learnin',
Though he often offends
Because he so often ends
Alle sein Limericks auf Deutsch.

Once lived a drunken man with a wooden leg
Who’s his misfortune forced him to dance and beg
The problem he had
Was tragic and sad
Since his leg, the remains of a Keg

A decrepit old gas-man named Peter
Whilst hunting around for the meter
Touched a leak with his light,
He arose out of sight,
And as anyone can see by reading this, also completely destroyed the meter.