General Limericks

There was a great chicken named Fanny
Who smelled like an old fat nanny
So he crossed the road
Got ran over by a toad
but ressurected and was a little canny

A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
Plus three times the square root of four.
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine squared and not a bit more.

There was a young woman from queens
who gobbled a plateful of beans.
The beans were fermented
and the girl was tormented
by embarrasing sounds in her jeans.

A seamstress who lived by the Thames
Made a living by sewing up hames
While her brother in Leicester
Was a wealthy inveicester
And owned some magnificent geames

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

A Buddhist, with great lamentation,
Saw the dentist with much animation.
Despite the man's pain
He refused Novocain,
To transcend dental medication.

A terrible poet was Jenny
Whose limericks weren't worth a penny.
In technique they were sound,
But she always found
Whenever she tried to write any,
That she always wrote one line too many.

A perceptive young buck in the Gloucesters ,Yearned for a cold tinnie of Fosters,Rat piss in a pail,With melted down hail,He accepted as clever impostors.

Though he didn't like men per se
He did something that most would think gay
He sucked on his bone
When he was alone
As much as he could every day

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.