General Limericks

There was a great chicken named Fanny
Who smelled like an old fat nanny
So he crossed the road
Got ran over by a toad
but ressurected and was a little canny

There was a young woman from queens
who gobbled a plateful of beans.
The beans were fermented
and the girl was tormented
by embarrasing sounds in her jeans.

A seamstress who lived by the Thames
Made a living by sewing up hames
While her brother in Leicester
Was a wealthy inveicester
And owned some magnificent geames

A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
Plus three times the square root of four.
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine squared and not a bit more.

A Buddhist, with great lamentation,
Saw the dentist with much animation.
Despite the man's pain
He refused Novocain,
To transcend dental medication.

A terrible poet was Jenny
Whose limericks weren't worth a penny.
In technique they were sound,
But she always found
Whenever she tried to write any,
That she always wrote one line too many.

A perceptive young buck in the Gloucesters ,Yearned for a cold tinnie of Fosters,Rat piss in a pail,With melted down hail,He accepted as clever impostors.

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.

Seven ages: first puking and mewling,
Then very pissed off with one's schooling,
Then fucks, and then fights,
Then judging chaps' rights,
Then sitting in slippers, then drooling.