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    General Limericks

    General Limericks are fun and care free, share them with others or just leave them be. These great limericks are classified as PG-13, while not as nasty as the dirty ones these guys sometimes pack a punch. These are the ones you share with your coworkers while still at work. You can submit your own limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation to the left. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!

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    A seamstress who lived by the Thames
    Made a living by sewing up hames
    While her brother in Leicester
    Was a wealthy inveicester
    And owned some magnificent geames
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    A wonderful bird is the pelican,
    His bill will hold more than his belican.
    He can take in his beak
    Food enough for a week,
    but I'm damned if I see how the helican.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    A terrible poet was Jenny
    Whose limericks weren't worth a penny.
    In technique they were sound,
    But she always found
    Whenever she tried to write any,
    That she always wrote one line too many.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    A perceptive young buck in the Gloucesters ,Yearned for a cold tinnie of Fosters,Rat piss in a pail,With melted down hail,He accepted as clever impostors.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There is a young poet named Herman.
    He's not very good, but he's learnin',
    Though he often offends
    Because he so often ends
    Alle sein Limericks auf Deutsch.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young lady one fall
    Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
    The dress caught fire
    And burned her entire
    Front page, sporting section and all.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
    Plus three times the square root of four.
    Divided by seven,
    Plus five times eleven,
    Equals nine squared and not a bit more.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    Two former good friends, Fife and Cline,
    Met by accidental design,
    Inquired Mister Fife,
    "Hello, how's the wife?",
    Responded Cline, "Fine, and how's mine?"
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There was a young woman from queens
    who gobbled a plateful of beans.
    The beans were fermented
    and the girl was tormented
    by embarrasing sounds in her jeans.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    Once lived a drunken man with a wooden leg
    Who’s his misfortune forced him to dance and beg
    The problem he had
    Was tragic and sad
    Since his leg, the remains of a Keg
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


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