Nerdy Limericks

There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!

Just why is there mass they do cry?
As we know our Collider won't lie,
It is the Higg's boson
That we have chosen
To answer that question or die!

Astronomers observe on a lark.
But if results look increasingly stark,
For some fabulous claim,
They'll just give it a name,
Then append on the prefix of "dark"

There was a zookeep from Nantucket
Who was struck by a fish -- couldn't duck it
He was thrown from the cage
By a pinniped's rage.
Quoth the walrus, "You can't has mah bukkit!"

A student as smart as could be
Had to integrate x to the 3
He said "x to the 4
over 4, I am sure"
But was off by a constant of C.

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane

There was a chemist once from Lahore
But sadly the chemist's no more
For what he moments ago
Said was just H2O
Was really H2SO4

There was a programmer named Lee
Whose wife (Ruby) drank Java, not tea
But one day, by surprise
Pythons bit out his eyes
And to this day he still cannot C.

One day baby Gauss was quite blue
'till his teacher gave him work to do;
"Find the sum of the numbers
from one to one hunders."
"N squared plus N over 2!"

A chemist, there once was, named Lee
Who made quite an error, you see
Now science he can no longer bicker
For that which he thought to be liquor
Was in fact but old HNO3