Nerdy Limericks

There was a young man from Trinity
Who solved the square root of inifinity.
While counting the digits
He was seized with the fidgets,
Dropped science, and took up divinity.

Just why is there mass they do cry?
As we know our Collider won't lie,
It is the Higg's boson
That we have chosen
To answer that question or die!

Astronomers observe on a lark.
But if results look increasingly stark,
For some fabulous claim,
They'll just give it a name,
Then append on the prefix of "dark"

There was a zookeep from Nantucket
Who was struck by a fish -- couldn't duck it
He was thrown from the cage
By a pinniped's rage.
Quoth the walrus, "You can't has mah bukkit!"

There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!

A mathematician from Boole,
Used to mispronounce words like a fool.
He spoke of "stastistics",
And "intragel" ballistics,
"Yuler" circles and "Hospital's" rule.

If M's a complete metric space
And nonempty, we know it's the case
That under the action
Of a contraction
One point will remain in its place.

There once was a matrix named Frank,
who was afraid that he had 1 as rank,
so he reduced his rows,
tallied the 0's,
and found that his contents were blank.

There is something about satyriasis
That arouses psychiatrists' biases.
But we're both very pleased
we're this way diseased,
as the damsel who's waiting to try us is.

There was a programmer named Lee
Whose wife (Ruby) drank Java, not tea
But one day, by surprise
Pythons bit out his eyes
And to this day he still cannot C.