Nerdy Limericks

Astronomers observe on a lark.
But if results look increasingly stark,
For some fabulous claim,
They'll just give it a name,
Then append on the prefix of "dark"

There was a zookeep from Nantucket
Who was struck by a fish -- couldn't duck it
He was thrown from the cage
By a pinniped's rage.
Quoth the walrus, "You can't has mah bukkit!"

There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!

A student as smart as could be
Had to integrate x to the 3
He said "x to the 4
over 4, I am sure"
But was off by a constant of C.

If M's a complete metric space
And nonempty, we know it's the case
That under the action
Of a contraction
One point will remain in its place.

There once was a matrix named Frank,
who was afraid that he had 1 as rank,
so he reduced his rows,
tallied the 0's,
and found that his contents were blank.

There is something about satyriasis
That arouses psychiatrists' biases.
But we're both very pleased
we're this way diseased,
as the damsel who's waiting to try us is.

One day baby Gauss was quite blue
'till his teacher gave him work to do;
"Find the sum of the numbers
from one to one hunders."
"N squared plus N over 2!"

A chemist, there once was, named Lee
Who made quite an error, you see
Now science he can no longer bicker
For that which he thought to be liquor
Was in fact but old HNO3

There once was an Internet freak
Who better response time did seek.
He searched coast to coast
For a reliable host
Whose transactions took less than a week.