Nerdy Limericks

Just why is there mass they do cry?
As we know our Collider won't lie,
It is the Higg's boson
That we have chosen
To answer that question or die!

Astronomers observe on a lark.
But if results look increasingly stark,
For some fabulous claim,
They'll just give it a name,
Then append on the prefix of "dark"

There was a zookeep from Nantucket
Who was struck by a fish -- couldn't duck it
He was thrown from the cage
By a pinniped's rage.
Quoth the walrus, "You can't has mah bukkit!"

A student as smart as could be
Had to integrate x to the 3
He said "x to the 4
over 4, I am sure"
But was off by a constant of C.

There was a programmer named Lee
Whose wife (Ruby) drank Java, not tea
But one day, by surprise
Pythons bit out his eyes
And to this day he still cannot C.

There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!

A mathematician from Boole,
Used to mispronounce words like a fool.
He spoke of "stastistics",
And "intragel" ballistics,
"Yuler" circles and "Hospital's" rule.

Null vectors have zero projection.
So you ask, "What can be their direction?"
They point any which way.
"That's magic!" you say?
Not really; it's just misdirection.

If M's a complete metric space
And nonempty, we know it's the case
That under the action
Of a contraction
One point will remain in its place.

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane